P.O.I.S.E. (Power Of Intense Self Esteem)

In the first year or so of being a Corporate IT Recruiter for AETNA Life & Casualty Insurance Company back in the late 1980's, I was asked to talk with a group of young high school students about poise, "self-composure".   Many of the students had never been in a building such as Aetna's - the largest Colonial structure in the world,  with its own power plant, AETNA was also owner of one of the first commercial satellites and was home of one of the largest corporate moves in American business history.  

Because the students were seeking various internships and part time jobs, I was asked to help them feel comfortable and to talk with them about how they should conduct themselves in such a major corporate environment.

I opened the conversation by talking to them about poise and how poise gets its foundation from self-esteem.

Unfortunately, some of the young people weren't clear on what "self-esteem" meant.  Almost none knew what "esteem" meant by itself.

So, I asked if any of them had purchased grapes or other fruits or vegetables that had to be weighed.  All raised their hands and said yes.

I then said, "Before you put the fruits on the scale to weigh them, you sort of estimate whether you are putting in way too much fruit or way too little, right?  And when you put the grapes on to the scale and weigh them, you accept the weight as a fact, as the truth."   Most agreed with my reasoning.

I then pointed out that the word "estimate" is closely related to the word "esteem".   So, if someone estimates you are a person of low value and you disagree with them, what do you have to do?   Balance their low estimate of you with a higher estimate of yourself.  If you accept their low estimate, then you're not being fair to yourself.  Actually, you're not even being truthful to yourself.  You deprive yourself of power if you accept an estimate of you that is too low.

Some people will intensely try to jerk your estimated value far too low, WAY TOO LOW!!

Please trust me on one thing: There is value in jerking your estimated value back onto a higher level.  There is value in your having intense self esteem.  My belief is that intense self esteem can be accomplished even within the same person who loves humility as well.  I believe it's called "centeredness", "truth".  Each of us is as valuable as the best of us  - yet, none of us is better than any of the rest of us.  If ever I  had an URGENT message to scream to the world or to my closest, dearest friend it would be this one.

But whatever your belief, please be careful when accepting someone else's estimate of your value.  

Remember to keep your poise -  remember the Power Of Intense Self Esteem. 

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Thanks!
Vincent Wright
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10 Jan 2006